gritty musings...Bright Shiny Pennies

so its been a coupla months...and as i was telling the sage, albeit slightly unhinged...sandy taint...i haven't been feeling my visceral contempt for all things republican...and so my ranting has be quieted...maybe its because i have over the last 3 years built up a sizable hatred for my own party...their complete disorganization, passive and generally inept "barney fief(sp?)" way of handling the other side of the aisle has left me sickened...so i hold no faith in the next set of elections...my fellow americans have chosen a group of...dare i say say it...fuctards...in the mid term elections... never in our country's vast and colorful history have a group of such absolutely and completely, unqualified rejects, unconnected to mainstream thought, held sway over  our nation and its future... the republican party is...unfathomable...anyone...i take that back...anything, that even smells centrist could beat our president in re-election...and i hate to say it... i held suc...

so a year ago this morning...i was in a hospital room my mangled hand in a giant restraint...i was dazed and more than a little frightened...my right hand was in shambles and so was my future...between the shots of dilaudid and the endless iv's...something incredible happened..and has kept happening since that very day...kindness happened...doctors...nurses...physical therapists...my closest friends...more than a few casual acquaintances...and total strangers...extended healing to me...kind words...encouraging thoughts...prayers...it changed how i viewed life...how i viewed people...and it made me thankul and humbled...it is so easy to miss all the positive things that happen to us day in...dayout...but when life throws you a big curve ball...you might just find out how really amazing people can be...i know, this from the sarcastic, more than a little evil bastard who rants at the moon...but this morning...as i type this missive with both hands...i gotta tell ya...all of you that r...

So four years ago I was ranting...about Bush and Cheney...about war and big business...about my lack of medical insurance and about an ever expanding elite class poised to destruct America...wow... what a difference a couple years make...Bush seems a distant memory, although his legacy ain't...Cheney remains the hate mongering old fool  he always was... and yet...it all seems so much worse...the war in iraq seems over...osama and ghadafi are dead...but my house is worth 60% less than it was 4 years ago...i still have no health insurance, but i did get to see what happens to a person thrust into the system...there is no credit...no jobs...and both parties don't seem to have a single person that could inspire and unite us...the republicans keep dredging the bottom of the barrel for whatever worked in the last election...a black guy...a woman...except as usual they have no concept of good and evil...or dumb or dumber for that matter...joe the plumber is running for congress...now ...

okay you heard me...the cursing...the damning...the tirade about a big oil company destroying my beautiful gulf...well, I meant it...hate the fuckers...which is why i take the utmost, ultimate, ball tingling joy in saying..."yeah, i took it"...their blood money... my tiny portion of their spindly 2 billion or so to "compensate" us for our loss of wages...wildlife...lifestyle...the generational destruction of one of the worlds largest eco-systems...and I never thought twice...didn't hesitate an instant...signed the paper...I exculpated them from their dastardly deed...but i fooled them...i had my fingers crossed...hey don't judge me..." I NEEDED THE MONEY!!!"

read the paper...watch the news...just plain talk to the people sitting next to you when you are bending your elbow...we have surrendered...almost all of us...left, right, center...i think the only people who are happy are the rich...cause its good to be rich...its the american dream...and in that lies the problem...is that all we have been reduced to...the rich and those of us close enough to reach for the brass or in our case green ring...how else do you explain...an attraction to ass clowns like ...Perry...Bachman...Limbaugh...shit even our president...at least Palin screwed the pooch and alienated herself from the extreme right by getting outed for schtupping a black guy...would have been better for her if she got cuddly with an Inuit...but i digress...no it seems we are at the "throw in the towel" period of american history...big business no longer wears the veil of propriety...they own us...and they tell us every day...the supreme court rubber stamps anything vaguely re...

so this whole thing is spinning...i mean our world...our part of the pizza...it easy to get metaphysical about everything...to read it like you read the paper...with a detached feeling of separation...the upward spiraling debt...vanishing jobs...unavailable credit...part of our country having lost their collective minds...  willing to follow ass clowns like Bachman and Perry and Palin into the great void...but when it touches you it can be illuminating...frightening clear...7 years ago the girls bought a cottage for 150k   and today we received the tax bill...58k ...we are paying half the taxes we paid 7 years ago ...which on the surface is good...but then think about the education budget...the infrastructure budget ...and realize that we are crashing...we lost another 20% of value...this year...in recovery...logic says pack up the uhaul and the dog...take a mortgage payment and hire a lawyer and blow this pop corn stand...but this was their dream... this little cottage.....

They say as you get older time flies...well that's not true it screams like a cheetah on fire past you...a mere second ago I was surrounded by blue water...eating tacos by moon light at the plaza principal...or watching the sunrise over the Caribbean...But now I am back...to the reality of the moment...back doing what I love and hate at the same time...Back in a country so lost and misguided that i fear we are as close to demise...as we have ever been.. But no politics today...today is my "mis en place"...my things in their place... I love cooking...creating..seeing something come to fruition on paper... and then...live in a dining room...its why i do it...I love teaching what I know to my staff and watching them get better...well some of them...it is a very satisfying way of life...immediate in it's praise and its disapproval...what do I hate...the look in my owners eyes after a slow week in august...dreams dashed...hope in short supply ...but if I am being honest.....