gritty musings...Bright Shiny Pennies

I am a whore...I mean aren't we all in some way or another...i sell my services to an owner and in exchange for a pittance of a salary..give everything to the  birth, growth and existence of their dream...their restaurant...I have adopted their dream as my own...transferred their ideas to my staff..and then sat back in the kitchen to watch them bathe in their adoration...in their success...I have also watched dreams dash...bank accounts dwindle...marriages crumble...partnerships dissolve...I have had great owners...down in the trenches...there with an icy drink...pat on the back..thanks a lot owners...owners who stuck money in my pocket...pulled me out into the dining room to receive the accolades of grateful clients...and i have had pimps...sweet talkers that tell you one thing...and spend the rest of the time chopping at you with an axe...whittling away at your vision..changing the deal...destroying your staff...Ive had bounced checks and bold faced liars..ive had mid night run...

i was on a train..from Paris to Rotterdam...and i remember the countryside raced by so fast in the bullet carrier that i barely could make out the bucolic scenery of western France...and i am reminded of my life...56 tomorrow ...holy shit..how i did i get here...life has literally raced by my window...days ago..i was intrigued by Paul Moyer's stir fry technique in his dirty socked apartment in altoona pa...was that the first inkling of cheffieism to come...i was swimming with some of my oldest friends or throwing yellow gritty balls against the natatorium walls ...was this the first instance of team building...traveling in a hazed and confused van from one polo match to another...wild haired and skinny...how is it that all my teams have always had a pot thing...there was those moments when ..breathless you met a woman that would change your life...forever...it has only happened a handful of times...but wow..path changing every one.. and..those friends who where a tiny bright blast ...

I promise this will be my last visceral reaction .. i realize we are a nation of very, very stupid  people...we find a need to delve head first into every single fuckin train wreck that comes our way..we are fascinated by all sorts of  creatures ... and now the "le gout quotidien de merde"(the daily taste of shit) Zim/Martin..I will, for you, the liberally enraged, qualify yet again my sincerest remorse for the lost life of a young black teen..it was tragic...but really ..boycott florida..not tipping servers to express your outrage at the verdict...by...yes i'll say it...a verdict by your peers..you are stupid..don't be enraged that your brother,another stupid man, was allowed legally possess a fire arm..carry it and kill another human being with it because he was getting his ass kicked...you all want these rights,,,you scream when anyone..usually liberal scum like me...suggests we restrict ownership...the racist among you find some way to tie the African American  ex...

omg...omg..omg...in the verbage of our times..are you fuckin for real..poor trevon..bad asshole zimmerman..a nation with young people dying  in foreign lands transfixed by the trial of a cop wanna be and a very troubled young black man ..who incidentally is now dead...i have never heard so much stupid purposeless posturing on a court case in my life..am i insensitive to the loss of yet another young African American teen to violence of our times..no i am not..it is senseless and it is commonplace... but i can argue if trevon was frightened of the man a full foot shorter than he...why not out run his fat ass...or smack him in the head.. laugh and run like hell for his parents house...no I'd sit on him and pound his head into the concrete...in Florida i read a bumper sticker.."never bring a fist to a gun fight'...ITS FLORIDA...you can bring your gun to work..keep it in your car in case someone tries to take your parking place or your lunch money...we had an old man cut off a...

I am an idiot for all things culinary..I subscribe...i inhale..all the trends ..the products ..the equipment, fuck, even the chairs and dishes that make restaurants ...I am a student of design, flow, ergonomics, lighting, non lighting, re-useable products and even bathroom fixtures.  But i can tell you now that i have hit the fuckin wall..farm to table...like that has to be pointed out..where else would it come from...i know..i am not that dense..it means all those young green hearted chefs rushing from the field back to their kitchens with baskets of freshly plucked produce ..each item lovingly nurtured with holistic  care...no chemicals or pesticides ever touching their tiny, soon to be devoured by a two hundred and sixty pound lawyer, skins... i wanna know..who has that much fucking free time..i'm in the kitchen most days 10 hours..yeah i am really gonna grab the time i could be spending eating...reading..playing with my dog...or having clean..not exhausted sex with my sign...

like a lot of things... my stuff... the stuff that exists in the electronic void of cyberspace.. had become lost...i lost my blog..i can't remember if i forgot the password..the site..the http...but to get to the point... it was gone..and i had given up on my baby..my ranting lunacy..my tossed bottles at the english occupiers...my shaking fists railed at all things... but then this morning... i found it.. my blog..and after re-establishing a password..sat back and re read all the rantings.. the tersely scribed missives...against mitt and bush..against the tea party ... non tipping restaurant patrons...i will say this,  focus, was not my forte.. i  was and remain an emotional, frustrated,  angry old man..at times comical..rarely incitefull and clearly disenfranchised..  so as we start this new period of "chefoid" enlightenment..i shall try to expand the  scope of these rantings..less political because politics have warped into a new econo-class  of parti...