a few thoughts on being chef
The word is used without regulation. It is tossed about like "nice" or "delicious". The term chef. I have met 23 year old men who call themselves chef. Line cooks, great line cooks cringe when their uncle introduces them at family functions as "a chef". It took me years of being in charge of my kitchens to be comfortable with being addressed as "chef". The chefs that I had met, on my path were not all great, or talented. They were not all team leaders, insightful or creative. But their were a few that set the parameters that I aspire to today. And to me they defined, "chef".
I write this as I bury yet another dream. Hours of hard work and compromise down the drain in the flush of an owners pen. Don't get me wrong owning a restaurant is in very rare cases satisfying or rewarding. It is in most cases all about your check book and nothing about the ego or idea that brought them to the table and ultimately, me.
I can say it now. I am chef. and not "the chef", cause that's different.
When your are chef, you lose you first name. I know I have employees that have no idea what my last name is and quite a few that don't know my first. I have had front of the house managers who never call me, even in off hours anything other than "chef". When I am losing my shit. screaming at everyone within my gaze, I have a "SAFETY WORD". Do you know what it is? The word that's grasps my attention away from the white void consuming me in bile and vitreous rage. Its Keith. It is so uncommon for me to hear my given name, in my kitchen that I come all the way back the black tunnel of focus and confusion, and wonder, "who is calling me that".
I have buried a lot of dreams on my path as "chef", Great concepts, awesome menus, fantastic line teams even stellar locations. I have worked side by side with some owners and despised and were horrified by the behavior of others. I've met wives and lovers and the best friends that any man, let alone a "chef" could ask for, standing in my kitchens. I have learned a lot about myself, about facing my failures by being "chef". Because there is no place to hide, there is no one else to blame when something goes wrong. You can blame it on this cook or that server. Cause when its wrong its wrong and you are "chef"
So it resume time again. Time to meet another owner with another dream. Another staff with its inherent problems. Once more the villain. Once more the instigator for change. And I guess I couldn't, wouldn't have it any other way.... I am "chef"
I write this as I bury yet another dream. Hours of hard work and compromise down the drain in the flush of an owners pen. Don't get me wrong owning a restaurant is in very rare cases satisfying or rewarding. It is in most cases all about your check book and nothing about the ego or idea that brought them to the table and ultimately, me.
I can say it now. I am chef. and not "the chef", cause that's different.
When your are chef, you lose you first name. I know I have employees that have no idea what my last name is and quite a few that don't know my first. I have had front of the house managers who never call me, even in off hours anything other than "chef". When I am losing my shit. screaming at everyone within my gaze, I have a "SAFETY WORD". Do you know what it is? The word that's grasps my attention away from the white void consuming me in bile and vitreous rage. Its Keith. It is so uncommon for me to hear my given name, in my kitchen that I come all the way back the black tunnel of focus and confusion, and wonder, "who is calling me that".
I have buried a lot of dreams on my path as "chef", Great concepts, awesome menus, fantastic line teams even stellar locations. I have worked side by side with some owners and despised and were horrified by the behavior of others. I've met wives and lovers and the best friends that any man, let alone a "chef" could ask for, standing in my kitchens. I have learned a lot about myself, about facing my failures by being "chef". Because there is no place to hide, there is no one else to blame when something goes wrong. You can blame it on this cook or that server. Cause when its wrong its wrong and you are "chef"
So it resume time again. Time to meet another owner with another dream. Another staff with its inherent problems. Once more the villain. Once more the instigator for change. And I guess I couldn't, wouldn't have it any other way.... I am "chef"
REALLY???? You're going to take another STAB at it? (pun intended) Give it some more thought Wrangler....
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck else bubba??? We can only hope the phone doesn't ring..and that would could might be wirse
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