gritty musings...Bright Shiny Pennies

here in st. pete we just lost another policeman...he wasn't lost he was shot and killed...by a sixteen year old kid...a black sixteen year old...we live in a racially charged city...less than a month ago two policeman were killed by another African American...the usual racist crap is on the airwaves...but...this is not a black white thing ...this is a gun thing...no one but the police need handguns...i do not give one shit about your personal liberty...if you need a gun then the gun available to the American public should be a shot gun...a big ...hard to conceal...shotgun...you can defend your home...your family with a shotgun...what not cool enough...not sleek and shiny and able to hold a forty two bullet clip...tough shit...the argument that only criminals will have guns...is frankly bullshit...the nra...a gun lobby...dispels this garbage and every single American is less safe for it...the right to bear arms was brought about because of the English laws that forbade it prior to o...

sorry its been a couple of weeks...and now that i don't spend 6 days a week in the kitchen...meaning reading the paper everyday...i have to admit to being a little disconnected from the stupidity that surrounds me here in the sunshine state...but a quick glance at a recent paper brought home the screaming reality that i live in a state that should be returned to to the large reptilian ancestors that forged her...the new governor... a white collar criminal...special interest puppet has started his term with the blanket dismissal of the nations first new high speed line that would connect Tampa with Orlando...now to those of you that don't live in this developers nightmare...insufficient highways make travel between these two hubs taxing at best...both cities are gateway cities to our tourism industry...one for the mouse the other for the beaches...what made this such a collassal fuckup is that the decision was not made for any other reason than to make the tea party idiots happy...

so rumsfeld is getting the " defender of the constitution award" at the cpac convention....you know the conservative punks acting cunty...rumsfeld ...that bastion of american patriotic fervor responsible for engineering the war for oil and haliburton...harbinger of death for a generation of young americans, iraqis and lest we forget the legion of the willing...a bush crony smart enough to reach the ring of trust with g-dub...smart enough still to get out before the war crimes charges were filed in the Hague...anyone else catching the vibe that the "new" conservatives are gonna use public works to erect lynching trees with automated footstools for people of color and Hispanics...this group just keeps grasping at the most reprehensible precepts in modern philosophical dogma...embracing them and putting them on the back of a t-shirt...hang a Muslim...okay with them...52 bullet automatic clip pistols for five year old autistic Hitler neophytes...why sure...lets all hold...

the tragedy in arizona is stunning to me...how am i stunned...what causes me to pause you ask...well simply put...that which divides us...continues, without abatement...the nutbags on the right full of fear and hate...are growing little monsters...unfair you say...well lets stand back and look at that in fair light...tree hugging hippes...anti gun loving...racist deploring...liberals are not raising anti Semitic, racist separatists...they are raising little liberals full of love for their fellow american...even when the cost of that love is to watch our nation careen downward toward ruination...i find it really interesting but entirely un-compelling to hear the right ask that we all meet in the middle...there is no middle... there is only far right and way far right in this country... Representative Giffords was "targeted" by the right...to be eliminated...removed for her views...for being a liberal...i can't help but wonder after the last couple years of lies and disinfo...

on a normal new years day...i would resolve...to lose weight...get to the gym...read more...finish that chest of drawers in the shop...and i would half heartedly try...and then around february first...forget about it...this year brings a host of resolutions...sure my fat ass still needs to find a gym...and i can always read more...but this year i will learn to write...with my right hand...again...and i will teach myself how to use one of my beloved knives...to cut lettuce or bread...maybe even trim a tender...down the road...and if i can do that...then maybe we'll work on the ignition key to my truck...or drawing a cartoon...painting a watercolor...i know i can do all these things with my left hand...but you see my left hand is now my strength..i lift with it...hold with it...it is my strong back...in 2011 i will coach the hurting club that hangs where my right hand used to be...to be useful...to rejoin the team...it will be a year of...well being resolute

since the great fingerectomy...is that a term...countless friends have sent their prayers...i can only suppose prayers for healing and strength...maybe even a couple dr. who time machine prayers that i awaken on that warm November morning and not feel the urge to finish the shelf for the cd rack...some surely pray for my good humor or a positive attitude towards my nuevo affliction...a few artist friends even prayed that this could never and would never happen to them...it brought me to thinking about my uplink to the almighty...never a person resolute in my faith...it is amazing to me that grown people take a moment out of every day to offer a thought to...who? to someone that silently watches over us...that cares for us...i just lost that connection somewhere along the way...that sense of peace...for that trust in something unseen...i lament...there is something very consoling in a basis of faith...that someone out there gives a shit about me, my loved ones...all of us...definably ...

so here goes...been a month...the saw and i changed my life forever...you know my hands(plural being the operative word)have really taken care of me...my art...construction and carpentry...and my life in the kitchen...i am a big guy...i can move alot of stuff..lift really big things...i was the guy you'd call to move...to make...to toss out a belligerent asshole...so we learned that a lot of really small...almost weightless things, make up a day...write a check...takes about 5 minutes now...jot something down???...not before i forget about it...use a mouse...type...easier but still...open a can ...impossible...the first thing i learned ...you guessed it...something to do with the butt...today...blowing my nose...tomorrow buttoning my jeans with one hand...frustrated to near insanity...dependent on someone for far too many things...thank Buddha for drawstring pants and crocs...at least i am not pants-less and unshodden during this florida winter...the hand is healing...and three out...