gritty musings...Bright Shiny Pennies

so this whole thing is spinning...i mean our world...our part of the pizza...it easy to get metaphysical about everything...to read it like you read the paper...with a detached feeling of separation...the upward spiraling debt...vanishing jobs...unavailable credit...part of our country having lost their collective minds...  willing to follow ass clowns like Bachman and Perry and Palin into the great void...but when it touches you it can be illuminating...frightening clear...7 years ago the girls bought a cottage for 150k   and today we received the tax bill...58k ...we are paying half the taxes we paid 7 years ago ...which on the surface is good...but then think about the education budget...the infrastructure budget ...and realize that we are crashing...we lost another 20% of value...this year...in recovery...logic says pack up the uhaul and the dog...take a mortgage payment and hire a lawyer and blow this pop corn stand...but this was their dream... this little cottage.....

They say as you get older time flies...well that's not true it screams like a cheetah on fire past you...a mere second ago I was surrounded by blue water...eating tacos by moon light at the plaza principal...or watching the sunrise over the Caribbean...But now I am back...to the reality of the moment...back doing what I love and hate at the same time...Back in a country so lost and misguided that i fear we are as close to demise...as we have ever been.. But no politics today...today is my "mis en place"...my things in their place... I love cooking...creating..seeing something come to fruition on paper... and then...live in a dining room...its why i do it...I love teaching what I know to my staff and watching them get better...well some of them...it is a very satisfying way of life...immediate in it's praise and its disapproval...what do I hate...the look in my owners eyes after a slow week in august...dreams dashed...hope in short supply ...but if I am being honest.....

oh do I love me some Mexico...its funny, because I universally get the strange cocker-spaniel look when I say the beautiful girl and I are headed south of the border...look we know that Tijuana is dangerous for americans, anyone with money for that matter...I hear the horror stories out of Cabo and Acapulco...the kidnappings in Mexico city...but all I can tell you is my little eastern corner of Mexico...in the Yucatan...its all tranquillo ...the Mayan people are wonderful and welcoming... they endure us...they are not  phony ... not the smiling front desk of any hotel outside the US... we struggle but laugh through...their stumbling English...my halting...kitchen Spanish...lots of hand signals... me pointing at the money...cause after seven years I still can't count past fifteen...how some how i start using the handful of Italian and french words that slip into my mind when i can't communicate in English...the weather is bowels of hell hot...but strangely its tolerable on Isla....

lots to watch, see and hear these days...republicans are cautiously circling the one bone that is...the republican presidential nomination...but do you ever ask yourself...why do these people...these specific people...want to be king of america...or in some cases queen...democrats have a different criteria...liberal...pro abortion...anti war...anti business...you get the rap...but the "pubs"...they get the stupid and loathsome ...palin...shes that girl from high school that you hoped would get the Carrie treatment at the prom...her boyfriend was always the school bully...we have "the newt"...another irrelevant has been...trying to relive old glory???...Tim Pawlenty the  ex governor of minesoda...yes i spelled it wrong.. and lest we forget...michele " the truth" Bachman...darling of the tea baggers...re writing history...one small mis- step after another...throw in a huckabee, a romney , a santorum and you have a whose who of the uniformed and "unitell...

So one of the posts last week was a lament...oh yeah i tried to turn it into something about other people being out of work...and it was... but mostly...a pity party...for poor ole pitiful me...and just about then a door opened instead of a window... and it only took walking through it...and that quick I am back on a line...cooking with my fucked up hand...doing what I love best...doors are much better than open windows...and besides i am a whiny bitch...and it takes much less effort to reach out and do something...walk through that unknown door ...than to...leap from a window...thanks to westy's for putting that all back in perspective

so i am painting my house...music blaring...scorching Florida sun...and NPR does a little spot...ohh i know...NPR...enjoy it while i have it...anyway...its about Florida governor Rick Scott...you know douche bag...oops there goes my blog again...so he comes up with the great conservative idea to drug test anybody on public assistance in the state...not a new idea, for sure...but definitely popular with the "IHN" and far right...and because the government in Florida is like an amoeba...you know one brain cell between all of them...it passes...swiftly...now on the outside it looks...well...acceptable...one should not be on drugs and using the state to feed themselves and their babies...but here is where my conspiracy laden mind goes...who's paying to drug test all these people...the state i guess... the same state that has cut education by 30 %...police by 30%...highways, bridges,,,sandboxes... you get it...and who will get the contract to process these tests...certainly no...

its been almost seven months...my fingers are on my hand...and i am learning how to do things all over again...and i am out of work...this is something new to me...i worked hard to reach a certain point in my career...its been almost a couple of decades...running kitchens...i am pretty good at it...i have an imagination...a desire to keep learning...to improve my craft...but i am up against it...like millions of very qualified americans i can't find work...i have been told i am over-qualified...too old...not corporate enough...lots of reasons...some may even be about my new challenges...my hand...but that is not what this missive is about...its about not working...and all the people like me that find themselves without a job...i find it humiliating...i feel less of the man i was such a short time ago...so many of us in the same boat...people with tremendous amounts of education and experience...lives spent honing a craft...it reduces you, diminishes you daily...i watch kids I have ...