I know I am getting old but....

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i thought a lot about this post before i wrote it...i guess i didn't want the two of you that read this to think i was a callous basterd( I love that spelling)...But fuck it is way too hard living in a town that is taken over by the near dead...I've heard people complain about spring break...thousand of kids...drunk, fornicating...puking and generally making an ass of themselves in sea side towns all over the place...well I have been in those towns and i got news for you...its fucking great compared to this last level of hell where i reside...The old, for those of you that don't know it...are mean...really mean...hurtful...opinionated...entitled...awful...I actually saw two ladies well into their seventies almost come to blows over a shopping cart...one lived here full time...which means they endure the 100 degree July days...the other was from Michigan or Wisconsin...the remarks where along the lines of why don't you just stay up "north' and leave "us" in peace... my thought s exactly...only for both of your awful asses... If you are not their direct progeny they would drive right over you with their car... I know they are someones wonderful grand parents but I am not theirs so ...fuck me,,,
and cheap...you have no idea..the early bird is the most important thing in an otherwise idle day...there is a group of about fifteen of them that pull out chairs and sit in the asphalt parking lot behind my restaurant...they drag out a boom box... drink cheap wine...listen to elvis cd's...but here's the thing they are a block...from the beach...wtf... at the crack of 4 they disappear...where you wonder...early birds...cheap eats... ohh i know they are on a fixed income...and the cost of living has gone up..but i actual heard a old man yell at his wife...who was using a walker...to hurry up or she wouldn't get the two for one Manhattans....i had to use a slicer to cut lemons because they were making lemonade rather than spending a buck for a ice tea...come on...really...lemonade from ice water and sweet and low.. whatever...
i have been hit by a car in a parking lot three times since moving to florida...they just look at you, with that if you aren't gonna die ...then get the fuck out from under my car...we had an incident a couple years ago where this septuagenarian hits a homeless guy on the median where he is panhandling...the guy goes halfway through the windshield where he mercifully expires...but get this... the old man drives home ...parks the car in the garage...watches wheel of fortune...eats half a hot dog and goes to bed ...gets up the next morning and drives to his favorite waffle house with the dead dude in the windshield...okay i made the waffle house bit up but...you get the picture...and it ain't pretty...sometimes when I am driving i look around and its the twightlight zone...everyone in every car is aged..and that frightens me...well you might say you gonna be that old soon ...and then you'll see...yeah and they also said someday i would hate todays music...and that hasn't happened...besides i've worked damn hard to live a shortened life...but if i do get that old...then just shoot me...please shoot me

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